Allie and Leah made a pact to be together in life and in death. It was the only way they felt they could survive the battleground that their parents laid out in their home. So, when Leah commits suicide and Allie fails to follow her, Allie is left with grief and guilt. At the end, when it mattered most, Allie wasn't there for her sister and now she must pay the price. Faced on her own with a father (who, in failing to control his one daughter, now seeks to gain mastery over the survivor) and a helpless mother drowning herself in sedatives, Allie has trouble finding allies. Her boyfriend is unsure how to help and wary of opening up, especially as Allie is also flirting with Max, a player who just wants to use her but provides relief from her pain. And then an angel appears in the guise of the school's drug dealer, who turns out to know more about Leah than Allie does herself.
A story about secrets in a very toxic family, littered with lots of drug abuse and suicidal ideation. It's not a cheery tale. I tolerated its very slow and miserable grind because of the familiarity of the characters and their dynamics. Still, this might well not be your taste in entertainment and the emotional abuse is quite triggering, making this a book that I frequently had to take breaks from. The story, of course, hinges on Allie and she's suitably nuanced and complex, defying easy solutions and in the end achieving a level of peace that, while rushed, felt satisfactory and believable. You're not going to find much sense that her war has been won, but at least these soldiers have survived their battle.
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